Like Mother, Like Daughter

Thirty years ago, yours truly was the flower girl for Homecoming:


Sorry about the photo quality. It was 1981, after all. . . :)


I'm also sorry for all the plaid skirts. Again, it was 1981.

And thirty years later, Sassy was asked to be flower girl for Homecoming:







It was such a great night. Different state, different town, different team, same hometown feel. I loved seeing the night through her eyes, especially since I don't remember much about the 1981 version. I'm sure it was pretty cool to be the flower girl, but I have to say being the mommy of the flower girl ranks right up there too.

Bye Bye Baby

Between starting kindergarten and playing soccer, Sassy has been getting a lot of the spotlight lately. However, there's someone else in our house who's been busy with some milestones of her own.

In a few short months Stinkus will be 2 1/2 and slowly but surely, signs of babyhood are disappearing from our household. Once again, it's bittersweet. I LOVE this age and I'm having so much fun seeing her become this little PERSON. (Unfortunately, she's got enough personality for ten little persons but I digress... ha!) On the flip side, it's hard to see her so big. It seems like she should still be that dark haired baby we brought home from the hospital.

However, all good things must come to an end so. . .

Signs that Our Babyhood Era is ending:

1) Stinkus is sleeping in a big girl bed and doing pretty well. She has some issues STAYING there when we first turn out the light. It's apparently great fun to come running down the hall, peek around the corner at us, shriek, "Uh oh! Dey see me!" and run like a maniac back to bed. After a few dozen times, she's out and we don't see her til morning. I'll take it.

2)The feeding chair has retired to the basement with the other "garage sale items." That one may have been a mistake. I'm missing the straps on the feeding chair and trying to come up with a way to plant her tush to the chair so we make it through one meal.

3) Stinkus is talking a mile a minute, though not always in English. Lately we're noticing that she's trying so hard to get her thoughts out that it's total jibberish except for the last two words, which is really all she needed to say in the first place.

4) She's growing like crazy. This summer she wore sandals that Sassy wore the Easter before she turned three, and most of the outfits that fit are 3T. So much for having another girl. I'm afraid there are few tubs in the basement she can wear!

5) I'm no longer saving clothes/shoes/toys, etc for the next baby. Instead, it's going to the next garage sale. I'm pretty excited that a lot of the big items have already found other homes. And cleared up space in mine!

6) Each box of diapers may be our last. I should probably do some serious potty training boot camp because it's typical for her to bring me a diaper, wipes and instructions: "Here, I pooped. Change me." For some reason though, she refuses to sit on the potty. I keep hoping that she'll decide one of these days and it will all just click.

7) She's a huge help around the house. Maybe it's because she doesn't realize she's doing chores, but Stinkus loves helping us do laundry and load/unload the dishwasher. Sometimes her help isn't wanted--like when she pulls a chair up to the counter and dumps whatever is within reach to the dish you had going for dinner. But overall, she's a good little worker.

It's hard to believe that almost three years ago (to the date!), we found out we were pregnant with her. At the time, I couldn't picture anyone but Sassy, and I couldn't imagine loving another baby. But as happens with any family, God lets your heart grow and your love double, and now I can't imagine life without our Stinkus. I thank God that He sent us such a little spitfire. I often joke and say we were going to have three until we met #2. . . but in reality, it's because life is complete with these two little girls. Plus I'm not totally convinced a third could survive this:

SCORE!

I wasn't planning on starting the girls in any activities until they were older. A) We've got lots of time to chauffeur kids around in the sixteen years to come, B) I usually don't sit down until 8:30 as it is, C) I'm exhausted, D) I didn't want to spend the money, E) Did I mention I'm tired? But a friend needed some more players for a local soccer team, Sassy emphatically declared, "I would love to!" and the next thing I know, we're buying shin-guards and soccer socks. It's just a month, I told myself. We can do this.

Earlier this week, Sassy came home with some homework that she couldn't wait to do. (Wonder how long that attitude will last. . . ) Unfortunately, the excitement soon turned to tears as my mini-me tried in vain to fix her poster. "It's horrible!" she cried, trying to color over pictures, and then erasing, and then crying some more. There was little I could say--I know her pain all too well. I've wasted too many hours trying to get everything "perfect," essentially always chasing something that can never be. It's exhausting. I hate to see her being so hard on herself. I'm by far my worst critic, and I know firsthand that it's hard to quiet that inner voice even when your mommy is telling you how great your poster is. So I went to bed with a heavy heart. How did I manage to pass this on to her?! Of course, then I look at Stinkus and have to wonder again about the nature thing. . . ha! Maybe firstborn kiddos are always like this?

And then we had soccer last night. I was a little nervous considering the meltdown the night before. Soccer is a whole new ballgame--pardon the pun--and I just wasn't sure how she'd handle it. Well, I soon learned that (as usual) I worried for nothing. Sassy was a soccer rock star! She scored two goals, but that was far from the best part. My little girl was right in the middle of the action, kicking the ball and moving it down the field with a confidence that made my heart swell. She wasn't afraid to get in there and take charge--without being rude or aggressive though. She was just HAPPY. It was amazing to see her out there. She was SO excited--cheering on her teammates, getting the ball, loving life. It was hard to believe that she was the same little girl upset over her homework. I was so proud of her.






Her first words off the field: "I scored two scores and I fell down four times! But I'm O.K!" One of the things I'm trying to learn as a mommy is that there are going to be lots of heartaches that I can't fix. Lots of messed-up posters and tears. And it might be harder on MY heart to see that. But after her soccer debut, I realized that it's O.K. if she falls down. The Sassy we're raising will jump back up, brush off the grass, and get back in the game. And that's exactly what I want for her.

Baby Fever

Last weekend we headed "out west" to see my brother and his family. They live seven hours away and I'm embarrassed to say it's been three years since we've been to their house. In our defense, though, life was a little different three years ago. We only had Sassy and they were newly pregnant the first time around. Those offspring tend to shake up your life a bit. :) They now have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old girl and a sweet 7 week old boy. My girls are IN LOVE. They've decided that we now need a baby. Specifically a boy. Specifically a boy with the same name as my nephew. :)

It made me a little sad watching the girls with Baby K. Sassy is getting to the point where she would be a huge help with a baby. And she was SO good. She would sit and "read" books or just sing songs forever. I think she might want a baby just to have someone listen to her talk. :)



And I've always seen Stinkus as the little sister. It was SO sweet to see her with a baby. I realized she'd make a pretty good big sister as well.



Hmmmm. . . . another baby?

Before I had children, I always wanted four. Then I had one. Hello, Reality! And this after an "easy" baby. So I "settled" for having three. And then I had two. Whoa. Why did a second feel like we added half a dozen more? I really feel like a failure sometimes because two is a LOT. And then I look at my mom and think, How on earth did she do 8?! Without becoming an alcoholic?

I love my girls, don't get me wrong. I really don't know what we used to do with our time. Or what used to make us laugh. Now we have Sassy talking about Chicken Boy in school and Stinkus yelling, "Are you kidding me, Mom?" (And yes, while that one required some definite discipline, it was pretty much impossible to keep a straight face.) It's hard work, but it's also truly the best thing I've ever done. I give thanks every day that God let me be their mommy. It's a great gig.

But honestly, they will most likely have to get their baby fix from their cousins. I have to admit that I'm pretty darn excited to be almost done with diapers (hopefully sooner rather than later, please, Stinkus). And whenever I start thinking, "Maybe one more," I remember those first weeks of "Oh my gosh, what did we do?!" I wasn't a newborn person. Yes, they're all sweet and cuddly, but I love how much easier life is now. I love that feeding Stinkus doesn't require any of my body parts and that she can tell me things like, "Ow, my poot (foot) hurts" and I don't have to guess what might be wrong. Honestly, I'd probably have a dozen if they came out as toddlers.

But for now, our family is complete, and the girls will have to cure their baby fever with some road trips.



Unless God has some other crazy plans. And at this point, I'd be the one saying, "Are you kidding me?" :)

Ups and Downs

Yesterday we took the girls to a local amusement park. What a great day. I really wasn't expecting it to be much fun because I thought we would "suffer" through the kiddie rides then have to take turns to ride some "real" stuff. I was pleasantly surprised that both girls could ride almost everything--and they DID! At 5 and 2, the girls rode a coaster that I rode somewhere around fourth grade. . . and I remember being terrified! :) They did great. Sa, our normally apprehensive, nervous one (wonder where she gets that. . . ) didn't once question what a ride would do, or if it was scary, or how big it was. They just giggled and laughed at everything. I can't wait to go back. Who knew what we were missing.

Not to say the day was without glitches. Throughout the day, I:

made Ryan turn around not once, but twice as we tried to get out the door on time. I forgot my coffee (didn't want a headache) and then forgot to turn off the machine that made my coffee.

used a Walmart bag to catch the product of a carsick Sa. . . Thankfully she was better after we got off the curvy, hilly highway. And the rides didn't cause further destruction!

realized that after ten minutes of being at the park and hearing "I'm thirsty" twice, I had left our drinks and snacks in the car.

made three sandwiches for one child at our lunchtime picnic because two ended up on the ground. Apparently Stinkus isn't good at plate balancing yet.

realized that putting children (specifically ones named Stinkus) on a leash for future visits really isn't a bad idea after all.

rescued an open Dora umbrella from the clutches of Stinkus and a wagon wheel. I don't even know that I can explain. . .

helped stop a bloody nose on the way home--Poor Sa inherited this from her daddy. And poor Murano. Seriously, the car saw its fair share of bodily fluids this weekend.

Overall, though, it was a great day. And a reminder that life is typically like a roller coaster. Lots of ups, lots of downs, moments when we're scared, moments when we're laughing. Even when it hands you a bag of puke, life's pretty darn good.

New Chapters

Sassy (formerly known as "Sa") is starting kindergarten tomorrow. I'm on a bit of a roller coaster about it. One minute, I'm super excited for this new chapter in her life and the next, I'm sad that it's starting. I've been thinking a lot lately about my mom. I really don't think you can ever appreciate everything your mom did for you until you're doing it for your own babies. For instance, I had a little bit of sticker shock after we went school shopping. Even for our two income household, that stuff adds up! And yet, I know that I started EVERY school year with new clothes and supplies. It was never "Oh, these pencils are still good" or "Your shoes still fit." Which doesn't sound like any big deal until you stop and consider there were eight of us. And when I was a senior, seven of us were in school. I have no clue how my parents did it. I can remember going through two to three gallons of milk a day, and drinking glass after glass after glass. No one ever told us to stop. I'm sure there were days when money was tight and life was stressful, but we kids never knew. We always had what we needed. My mom has always been such an amazing, selfless person--I don't think I'll ever be able to grasp everything she gave up for us. She certainly never told us what she went without so we could have.

Everyone always says that they love to see the world again through their babies' eyes. I've realized that being a mom also allows me to see it through my mom's. At the time of my own milestones, I didn't stop and think how my mom felt. How did she feel watching me walk away? In my little knee socks up the big steps of the school bus? Across the stage of board members for my diploma? Down the aisle to the man I would marry? I never stopped to think what it meant to her. And while Sassy starting kindergarten certainly isn't about me, it IS a new chapter for me. I'm trying to not let her see my tears, fears, or nerves. I asked the other day if she was nervous and she looked at me like I had three heads. What on earth is there to be nervous about?! So I'm keeping that to myself and letting her enjoy this big moment. While it's hard, I never want her to feel guilty for doing what I pray for every day--to grow up. I give thanks every passing day that she gets to. And I give thanks to the woman who let me. I'm sure it wasn't easy to send me off to school thirty years ago, but I was ready--God had already given me the best teacher ever.

Words of Wisdom

Parenthood is definitely hard for those of us who like instant results. I love when I can cross things off my "To Do" list. (I guess this is where I should admit that I add things I've already done just for the satisfaction of crossing them off. Yes, it's sick, I know.) Anyway. . . Clean house, check. Grocery shopping, check. Laundry, check. Raising strong, well-balanced, independent, all around "good" kids. Hmmmm. Not sure when you can ever check that one off. But luckily, you get little peeks here and there that maybe, just maybe, you know what you're doing.

When we came back from vacation, I threw the girls in the tub, started the water, and left for two minutes. Then I hear blood-curdling screaming and of course, I think the worst--I'm that mother who left them unattended in the tub and someone drowned. I run down the hall and meet Sa, buck naked, screaming, and sliding on the floor. I run in the bathroom, expecting the worst, and Stinkus is happily playing in the bubbles, oblivious to the big fat frog sitting on the edge of the tub. Talk about traumatic. Days passed before Sa would go to the bathroom without crying. (I kind of feel that way too but it's because seven years after we bought this house, the toilet is still blue.) So anyway, we finally convince her that it was a one-time thing, she doesn't have to worry about a frog tub invasion. We still don't know where the little booger came from. My theory is he came in at one point with the dog, and migrated to the girls' tub toys (always a little water in the bottom of the basket) and hung out there while we were in FL. Imagine HIS poor trauma when we returned for baths!

So fast forward a few more days. The girls want to swim in their little pool outside. Which isn't a problem, but our dog is in his pen and will bark like crazy when he sees and hears us. Which means I have to go get him. Which isn't a problem, but his pen is in the woods outside our house and I might encounter a mom-eating snake. I share none of this with the girls. Only: "Man, I have to get Bo."

Sa: "Mom, how many snakes have you seen out there?" (How did she know?!)
Me: "None. . ."
Sa: "Ok, it's like the frog. There won't be any snakes down there. You can't be scared because you might see one."

Wow. How many times did she sit terrified on the blue toilet but did it anyway. . . So I bucked up and ran like a madwoman to the pen and back. No snakes. I returned breathless to my five year standing in the little pool with her hand on her hip.

"So. How many snakes did you see?" She smirked.

I wasn't sure whether to be angry that she was being so sassy or proud that she's listening to what I say after all and taking it in. I'm going with #2 and checking it off the list. . . for today at least. Tomorrow's a whole other day.