Dream House!

So we've FINALLY found our DREAM house!

three bedrooms/2 baths
2000 sq ft plus a full basement
2 fireplaces
remodeled kitchen
hardwood floors
two car garage
huge yard
lots of trees
dining room
2 living areas

It also has a blue toilet and carpet that needs to be stretched. Yep, folks, we're staying put. Things didn't work out to move. . . or did they? I'm a "sign" person--always looking for things that are meant to be. A few months ago, I just KNEW that we were "supposed" to move. (After all, nuns wanted to buy our house--I mean, if that's not a direct order from the Big Guy, I don't know what is!) Long story short--our buyers fell through and within 24 hours, we found out that the one house we had looked at had a contract. So if that's not a sign, I don't know what is. . . We've since had two other interested parties (and our house has NEVER been on the market!) but nothing has come of it. At first, I wasn't sure what to think. What was that all about? Maybe we were supposed to put our house on the market--this was just the little push we needed. Maybe we were supposed to look for houses in town. Or maybe, we need to appreciate what we already have.

It can be really easy to get caught up in what the Jones have. And I know that people think we're crazy for living where we do. Fifteen minutes from Walmart? GASP! But after looking at what's out there, I realized that we have it pretty good right here. Yes, our house is almost as old as we are but Epiphany #1: New houses become old, and eventually need work too. Epiphany #2: We have a lot of space here that I'm just not willing to give up. We can't afford the space we have in a newer home. Case in point--we found a house online with the exact same square footage on LESS acreage... for $200,000 MORE than we paid. Yes, that comma is in the right place. Granted, the basement is finished and it's newer BUT someday we hope to have a finished basement too--and for less that 200 Gs.

Lately, we've been putting in a lot of time around the firepit with friends and while there are definitely things I hate about living here (blue toilet, copperheads, blue toilet. . .) I can't give up the stars at night, the coyotes howling in the distance, the moon coming up through the trees. It's like God himself is saying, LOOK at what I've given you. So I'm grateful to the nuns. They helped me realize that as with many things in life, everything you want is often right in your backyard. Literally.

Seasons

Every year, I swear I'm going to catch it happening.

I'll see some red or yellow here or there and then seemingly overnight, the green is gone, the leaves have changed and fall is here. I miss it every year. I haven't decided if it's because it truly does happen overnight, or if it's so gradual that I don't notice the changes taking place right before my eyes.

Last weekend, I was with the girls at a local craft fair. A complete stranger stopped to comment on them (I guess they're cute?) and then went on to say what I've been hearing for five years now: "Oh enjoy them, they grow so fast. Mine used to be that little." For the last five years, I've been nodding politely when I hear this but not really believing it. To be perfectly honest, I don't even remember life before children. Five years has, at times, felt like an eternity. Like when someone is puking on me or shooting poop across the room during a diaper change. Or throwing crayons in church (which, by the way, is NOT the ideal time to realize your kid has a great arm.) Or when your newborn wakes up AGAIN--and you immediately start crying because you just don't think you can do it anymore. But you do. And somehow, it's five years later, and you realize those strangers might know what they're talking about after all. It DOES go fast. You can't see it happening, you can't see them changing and growing, but one day you turn around and your babies aren't babies anymore. The newborn phase, the puke, the poop--it all ends. (Notice I didn't say the crayon throwing. We still have a few Sundays where she breaks that out. Sigh.) But like everything else, this too shall pass. I know that too soon the day will come when I'm telling some frazzled, exhausted (and not convinced) mom that it goes fast. I need to remember to stop focusing so much on the trees' new colors, and enjoy the changes it took to get there. Even though I missed it again this fall, there's always next year. But my girls will never be as little as they are today. And those are changes worth noticing.

Heaven on Earth

I remember when I was pregnant with Sassy. We had the nursery painted, the diapers stacked, the little socks balled up in drawers next to onesies. Names were picked out, showers planned, equipment assembled. We were ready. People would tell me how much this little person was going to change our lives and I would nod, knowingly. I KNEW. Or so I thought.

Then she was born. And I realized that nothing could prepare me for what I felt. I know it sounds cliche, but I fell totally and completely in love with this perfect little person who--let's be honest here--may have better resembled a red, hairy monkey. But suddenly I realized what everyone had been saying. You can't possibly know the depth of that love until you're there, watching your life change in an instant. There are truly no words to describe it. And even after experiencing it, I couldn't fully recall the power of that moment until three years later when another hairy little monkey entered my world. It's the most amazing, overwhelming sense of love EVER. And then it dawned on me: what if. . . that's what heaven is like? We hear about how beautiful it is, how amazing it is, and we THINK we know. We imagine our loved ones there. And we take comfort in the fact that they're happy. We read about it, we pray about it, we listen to God's word, we strive to get there someday. But we can't possibly understand the depth of that love until we're there, watching our lives change in an instant.

My family has had to say goodbye to many loved ones--including four who ironically never had the chance to become parents. It's taken me a while to remember that while we selfishly want them here, if heaven is anything like the first few moments of parenthood, they're not missing anything. We just miss THEM. It doesn't make it easier that they're gone, but it does give me peace to believe that they constantly feel what I've known only twice in my life. And I know I'll see them again. Until then, I'll keep enjoying my own little heaven on earth. I've been blessed with two little monkeys and some special angels who look over all of us.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Thirty years ago, yours truly was the flower girl for Homecoming:


Sorry about the photo quality. It was 1981, after all. . . :)


I'm also sorry for all the plaid skirts. Again, it was 1981.

And thirty years later, Sassy was asked to be flower girl for Homecoming:







It was such a great night. Different state, different town, different team, same hometown feel. I loved seeing the night through her eyes, especially since I don't remember much about the 1981 version. I'm sure it was pretty cool to be the flower girl, but I have to say being the mommy of the flower girl ranks right up there too.

Bye Bye Baby

Between starting kindergarten and playing soccer, Sassy has been getting a lot of the spotlight lately. However, there's someone else in our house who's been busy with some milestones of her own.

In a few short months Stinkus will be 2 1/2 and slowly but surely, signs of babyhood are disappearing from our household. Once again, it's bittersweet. I LOVE this age and I'm having so much fun seeing her become this little PERSON. (Unfortunately, she's got enough personality for ten little persons but I digress... ha!) On the flip side, it's hard to see her so big. It seems like she should still be that dark haired baby we brought home from the hospital.

However, all good things must come to an end so. . .

Signs that Our Babyhood Era is ending:

1) Stinkus is sleeping in a big girl bed and doing pretty well. She has some issues STAYING there when we first turn out the light. It's apparently great fun to come running down the hall, peek around the corner at us, shriek, "Uh oh! Dey see me!" and run like a maniac back to bed. After a few dozen times, she's out and we don't see her til morning. I'll take it.

2)The feeding chair has retired to the basement with the other "garage sale items." That one may have been a mistake. I'm missing the straps on the feeding chair and trying to come up with a way to plant her tush to the chair so we make it through one meal.

3) Stinkus is talking a mile a minute, though not always in English. Lately we're noticing that she's trying so hard to get her thoughts out that it's total jibberish except for the last two words, which is really all she needed to say in the first place.

4) She's growing like crazy. This summer she wore sandals that Sassy wore the Easter before she turned three, and most of the outfits that fit are 3T. So much for having another girl. I'm afraid there are few tubs in the basement she can wear!

5) I'm no longer saving clothes/shoes/toys, etc for the next baby. Instead, it's going to the next garage sale. I'm pretty excited that a lot of the big items have already found other homes. And cleared up space in mine!

6) Each box of diapers may be our last. I should probably do some serious potty training boot camp because it's typical for her to bring me a diaper, wipes and instructions: "Here, I pooped. Change me." For some reason though, she refuses to sit on the potty. I keep hoping that she'll decide one of these days and it will all just click.

7) She's a huge help around the house. Maybe it's because she doesn't realize she's doing chores, but Stinkus loves helping us do laundry and load/unload the dishwasher. Sometimes her help isn't wanted--like when she pulls a chair up to the counter and dumps whatever is within reach to the dish you had going for dinner. But overall, she's a good little worker.

It's hard to believe that almost three years ago (to the date!), we found out we were pregnant with her. At the time, I couldn't picture anyone but Sassy, and I couldn't imagine loving another baby. But as happens with any family, God lets your heart grow and your love double, and now I can't imagine life without our Stinkus. I thank God that He sent us such a little spitfire. I often joke and say we were going to have three until we met #2. . . but in reality, it's because life is complete with these two little girls. Plus I'm not totally convinced a third could survive this:

SCORE!

I wasn't planning on starting the girls in any activities until they were older. A) We've got lots of time to chauffeur kids around in the sixteen years to come, B) I usually don't sit down until 8:30 as it is, C) I'm exhausted, D) I didn't want to spend the money, E) Did I mention I'm tired? But a friend needed some more players for a local soccer team, Sassy emphatically declared, "I would love to!" and the next thing I know, we're buying shin-guards and soccer socks. It's just a month, I told myself. We can do this.

Earlier this week, Sassy came home with some homework that she couldn't wait to do. (Wonder how long that attitude will last. . . ) Unfortunately, the excitement soon turned to tears as my mini-me tried in vain to fix her poster. "It's horrible!" she cried, trying to color over pictures, and then erasing, and then crying some more. There was little I could say--I know her pain all too well. I've wasted too many hours trying to get everything "perfect," essentially always chasing something that can never be. It's exhausting. I hate to see her being so hard on herself. I'm by far my worst critic, and I know firsthand that it's hard to quiet that inner voice even when your mommy is telling you how great your poster is. So I went to bed with a heavy heart. How did I manage to pass this on to her?! Of course, then I look at Stinkus and have to wonder again about the nature thing. . . ha! Maybe firstborn kiddos are always like this?

And then we had soccer last night. I was a little nervous considering the meltdown the night before. Soccer is a whole new ballgame--pardon the pun--and I just wasn't sure how she'd handle it. Well, I soon learned that (as usual) I worried for nothing. Sassy was a soccer rock star! She scored two goals, but that was far from the best part. My little girl was right in the middle of the action, kicking the ball and moving it down the field with a confidence that made my heart swell. She wasn't afraid to get in there and take charge--without being rude or aggressive though. She was just HAPPY. It was amazing to see her out there. She was SO excited--cheering on her teammates, getting the ball, loving life. It was hard to believe that she was the same little girl upset over her homework. I was so proud of her.






Her first words off the field: "I scored two scores and I fell down four times! But I'm O.K!" One of the things I'm trying to learn as a mommy is that there are going to be lots of heartaches that I can't fix. Lots of messed-up posters and tears. And it might be harder on MY heart to see that. But after her soccer debut, I realized that it's O.K. if she falls down. The Sassy we're raising will jump back up, brush off the grass, and get back in the game. And that's exactly what I want for her.

Baby Fever

Last weekend we headed "out west" to see my brother and his family. They live seven hours away and I'm embarrassed to say it's been three years since we've been to their house. In our defense, though, life was a little different three years ago. We only had Sassy and they were newly pregnant the first time around. Those offspring tend to shake up your life a bit. :) They now have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old girl and a sweet 7 week old boy. My girls are IN LOVE. They've decided that we now need a baby. Specifically a boy. Specifically a boy with the same name as my nephew. :)

It made me a little sad watching the girls with Baby K. Sassy is getting to the point where she would be a huge help with a baby. And she was SO good. She would sit and "read" books or just sing songs forever. I think she might want a baby just to have someone listen to her talk. :)



And I've always seen Stinkus as the little sister. It was SO sweet to see her with a baby. I realized she'd make a pretty good big sister as well.



Hmmmm. . . . another baby?

Before I had children, I always wanted four. Then I had one. Hello, Reality! And this after an "easy" baby. So I "settled" for having three. And then I had two. Whoa. Why did a second feel like we added half a dozen more? I really feel like a failure sometimes because two is a LOT. And then I look at my mom and think, How on earth did she do 8?! Without becoming an alcoholic?

I love my girls, don't get me wrong. I really don't know what we used to do with our time. Or what used to make us laugh. Now we have Sassy talking about Chicken Boy in school and Stinkus yelling, "Are you kidding me, Mom?" (And yes, while that one required some definite discipline, it was pretty much impossible to keep a straight face.) It's hard work, but it's also truly the best thing I've ever done. I give thanks every day that God let me be their mommy. It's a great gig.

But honestly, they will most likely have to get their baby fix from their cousins. I have to admit that I'm pretty darn excited to be almost done with diapers (hopefully sooner rather than later, please, Stinkus). And whenever I start thinking, "Maybe one more," I remember those first weeks of "Oh my gosh, what did we do?!" I wasn't a newborn person. Yes, they're all sweet and cuddly, but I love how much easier life is now. I love that feeding Stinkus doesn't require any of my body parts and that she can tell me things like, "Ow, my poot (foot) hurts" and I don't have to guess what might be wrong. Honestly, I'd probably have a dozen if they came out as toddlers.

But for now, our family is complete, and the girls will have to cure their baby fever with some road trips.



Unless God has some other crazy plans. And at this point, I'd be the one saying, "Are you kidding me?" :)