Heaven on Earth

I remember when I was pregnant with Sassy. We had the nursery painted, the diapers stacked, the little socks balled up in drawers next to onesies. Names were picked out, showers planned, equipment assembled. We were ready. People would tell me how much this little person was going to change our lives and I would nod, knowingly. I KNEW. Or so I thought.

Then she was born. And I realized that nothing could prepare me for what I felt. I know it sounds cliche, but I fell totally and completely in love with this perfect little person who--let's be honest here--may have better resembled a red, hairy monkey. But suddenly I realized what everyone had been saying. You can't possibly know the depth of that love until you're there, watching your life change in an instant. There are truly no words to describe it. And even after experiencing it, I couldn't fully recall the power of that moment until three years later when another hairy little monkey entered my world. It's the most amazing, overwhelming sense of love EVER. And then it dawned on me: what if. . . that's what heaven is like? We hear about how beautiful it is, how amazing it is, and we THINK we know. We imagine our loved ones there. And we take comfort in the fact that they're happy. We read about it, we pray about it, we listen to God's word, we strive to get there someday. But we can't possibly understand the depth of that love until we're there, watching our lives change in an instant.

My family has had to say goodbye to many loved ones--including four who ironically never had the chance to become parents. It's taken me a while to remember that while we selfishly want them here, if heaven is anything like the first few moments of parenthood, they're not missing anything. We just miss THEM. It doesn't make it easier that they're gone, but it does give me peace to believe that they constantly feel what I've known only twice in my life. And I know I'll see them again. Until then, I'll keep enjoying my own little heaven on earth. I've been blessed with two little monkeys and some special angels who look over all of us.