Warm Fuzzies

I can imagine that my big family takes some getting used to. We're loud, crazy, perhaps a tad obnoxious. Conversations often become yelling matches (not because we're angry--we're just making sure we can be heard over all the others who keep interrupting.) Dinners are usually buffet-style with disposable plates and silverware, Sharpie names on Solo cups, and "you're on your own to find a seat." If you spend the night, I hope you like the floor or a couch. There are just too many of us to do anything else.

And despite all that, we have found four "outlaws" who weren't scared off to join our rowdy group. It amazes me that not only would I pick my siblings if I could, I would also pick the people they married. Most came from small families (my husband included) and no one has batted an eye at anything. And although I picked R, his family was part of the package--again, a package I would have chosen.

We had a joint birthday party for the girls this weekend. There were 17 of us here. It was crazy, chaotic, noisy and absolutely perfect. We broke out the Sharpie marker and ate for two days straight, we laughed and shouted and played games, we sat outside with a fire and watched the guys blow up some fireworks. Last night, we had people sleeping in the kitchen, dining room, living room, foyer (my sister's idea--I really wasn't going to make her sleep in front of the door...) and both girls' rooms. We were crowded, out of hot water, and constantly either cleaning up a meal or getting another one ready. Did I mention it was perfect? I kept thinking that there aren't too many people who would love a weekend like that, and somehow God brought us all together, not as two sides, not as in-laws, but as ONE family. My girls' family. I feel so blessed to have all of these people in their lives. I hope they know how much they're loved. I hope they know how lucky they are to sleep on our bedroom floor when the rest of our house is packed with these people. I hope they regularly have the warm fuzzies I had all weekend.

I feel a little homesick tonight knowing that everyone is gone. And sometimes I'm sad that my girls won't know the chaos of a big family. But then I realize that this--having one sister--is "normal" for them. They'll have the next best thing--grandparents and lots of aunts, uncles and cousins. Lots of food, games, and laughter. And tons of dirty towels and sheets. :) Oh well, it was worth it. I may put that laundry off for a while though. I'm a little worn out, plus we might still be out of hot water.

Sugar and Spice

I remember being super nervous right after Sa was born. Which is understandable, I know. But I wasn't nervous for the "normal" reasons. In those first few moments, I wasn't thinking about middle-of-the-night feedings or the constant diaper changes. We hadn't found out the gender of our firstborn and I was a little nervous to hear, "It's a girl!"

Fast forward three years later. It's Baby Day and we're waiting to meet #2. During pregnancy, I remember thinking that Stinkus was a boy. My tummy looked like a basketball, I craved hot sauce, I was a little more nauseous this time. And we couldn't quite come up with a girl name we agreed on. Plus, doesn't every father need a son? We have to carry on that family name. We have to have someone catch a baseball. We have to take someone fishing. I had some selfish reasons for not finding out the gender this time around. My logic: Daddy might be disappointed if the ultrasound tech in an exam room reveals that it's another girl, but how can he be disappointed in an operating room?

And this birth quickly became a repeat of #1: the doctor commenting on all the dark hair and the long eyelashes, hearing "It's a girl!" and that flutter of anxiety. And each time, there was one more similarity that set all my worries aside: my husband's twinkling eyes.

I had two C-sections and R had to wear a mask and cap as he sat by my side. I remember searching his face after each birth to a) find out if she was ok and b) find out if HE was ok with a "she." Each time, I held it together until I saw his eyes. I will never forget how they just LIT up and I could tell how big he was smiling without even seeing his mouth.

In all honesty, I had a really hard time picturing R as a dad. Now I know that I could have never imagined a dad this good. And to see him with two girls just warms my heart. There was a reason God sent us Sa and Stinkus. And while they may not carry on the name, they still hit the river with their Daddy. Who knows--maybe that Barbie hat and tacklebox will bring them some luck.

Thank You

When you're a kid, you just don't get it. You don't get how lucky you are when you are raised by amazing people. You only see all the "injustices" of life like having a curfew, driving a beater car, and how ____________(insert sibling name here) always gets his/her way. Then you go away to college. Funny how smart my parents became when I was the one getting an education. I remember writing my parents a letter thanking them for my last 18 years. After being on my own for a while and meeting kids from all different walks of life, I realized I had it GOOD. My worst "problems" growing up were hardly problems at all. Funny how green the grass is when it's no longer right in your own backyard.



Have you heard the song Amarillo Sky by Jason Aldean? Google it if not. It's my dad. With the exception of the Amarillo part. :) I actually tear up every time I hear it because I'm so proud of the work he's done all these years. Farming isn't easy, it's not glorious, it's not very lucrative, but it's what he LOVES, and he wouldn't give it up for anything. Even when he has a bad year, or it doesn't rain when it's supposed to, or it rains too much and he has to start over. It's his LIFE. And I hope he knows how much that life gave us--things like integrity, honesty, patience, faith, and the importance of good old fashioned hard work. It's these things I want to pass on to my own kids. I want them to have more than just his blue eyes.


And while I can't speak for my husband's childhood, I know that he too had it pretty good. I remember my first date with R--he told me his dad was a farmer and his mom worked in a school and he too had grown up in a small Midwestern town. It was one of the things that first attracted me to him--we came from this similar "place" growing up. (Oh and he also drove a beater car. Is it weird that this chick was impressed by a beater car?) I want to thank my father in law for all he did because he raised an incredible young man who grew up to be the daddy to my girls. And you definitely can't put a price tag on that. More thank yous to come tomorrow. :)

10 Days

So I intended to do this post two days ago. Go figure. As "efficient" and organized as I am, I'll be late to my own funeral. So to make this less confusing (as well as require minimal math), we're going to pretend that it's June 13. :) Today (again it's June 13) my girls' birthdays are 10 days away. One will be five in ten days and the other was two ten days ago. I obviously knew their birth-dates were close (I was there and all), but I had never realized that on this one day (did I mention that today is June 13?) both dates are ten days away. And how happy Big Sister is that hers is coming up rather than over! She's had a hard time understanding that she was born first but Little Sister gets her birthday first.

Speaking of Little Sister. . . that's her. Better known as Stinkus. We were at the zoo a few weeks ago, and the picture says it all. Wow. She's you-know-what on wheels. I laugh and say that either a)God wanted to humble us a bit (we were PROS at parenting with #1. . . maybe #1 was just easy?) or b)don't mix caffeine (which I avoided during pregnancy #1) and hot sauce (which I CRAVED during pregnancy #2.) At any rate, she keeps us on our toes and I have to admit, I love it. She's feisty, funny, brave, and full of life. I hope she never loses these qualities. On the other hand, I'm sprouting gray hairs like crazy and running out of answers for "Why?" It definitely makes a case for "nature" over "nurture."

Because then there's Sa.

Sa (sounds like the beginning of Sally or sack) got her name from Stinkus. We're not sure if it's short for Sis but it's stuck and I think I'll be sad when Little Sister uses her real name. I'm not sure if my parenting is different each time around or if these two little people just came out different, but wow, day and night. Sa is our sweet, sensitive people pleaser. She has a heart of gold and I often forget that she's only 4. She has a witty sense of humor and a drive to succeed. It's bittersweet to see her start school in the fall--it doesn't seem that she should be old enough, but I'm so excited to see her in action.

And anyone with more than one kid will tell you that they love their kids for different reasons--that life would be boring if they were the same. It's so fun to see how different they are. And I'm excited to see how they balance each other in the years to come. It's ok that one is a little more argumentative, one is a little more emotional. Today they are "equal"--10 days away from a birthday.

All in a Day's Work

I'm currently playing "stay at home mom"--I'm blessed in my career to a) have a job that doesn't feel like work and b) have lots of time off with my family. Unfortunately, our summer vacation has been anything but. My youngest gave me a huge scare yesterday by having a febrile seizure. And despite it being something "normal" that accompanies a fever, it's totally NOT normal to see your child's eyes rolling back in her head, her face and lips turning blue, and her body convulsing in your arms. Arrrggghh. It was absolutely horrible. She's fine today, running around acting like her crazy, sassy self, but wow, yesterday is not anything I ever want to experience again. And our day is off to another rocky start--my oldest is on the couch with a fever that won't stay down, a headache and an upset tummy. But it could be so much worse. Yesterday at this time, I thought it was. I was calling 911 and trying to pry my finger out of my baby's mouth (I've since learned not to do this during a seizure--no thanks to all the inaccurate medical dramas I've seen on TV. . . ha! I still can't feel my fingertip today. . .) and pleading for her to stay with me. I slept on her bedroom floor last night, not quite confident that she was ok to sleep. That's what mommyhood does to you. You're forever vulnerable, watching over these two little people who have become your whole world. Moments like yesterday remind me (when I already know) that days can start out completely normal and in the blink of an eye become anything but. And your whole world changes. Yesterday just hit a little too close to MY whole world. OK, time for more Motrin all around. I'm beat. Maybe I'll go back to work to get some time off.

All Aboard!

OK, here I am. . . jumping on the blogging bandwagon I always swore I wouldn't. Never say never, right? After all, I do have the ridiculous Facebook profile I always scoffed at (which I LOVE by the way. . . in fact, I may have a bit of an addiction, but that's a whole other blog. . .) I'm not sure my life is fascinating enough for a blog. I know a lot of people blog to document their travels, or a pregnancy, or some other new adventure in their life. Hmmmm. I can write about work. Living in the Midwest. My two kids, husband, and our dog. Yeah, I'm pretty much as "normal" as you can get. Is that exciting enough for a blog? And then again, why not? Everyone else is doing it. I'll just settle in on the bandwagon and enjoy the ride. Even if it doesn't take me out of the state. :)