Hole In One

I love that my girls have each other. There's nothing like a sibling. Although there were definitely some rough moments getting along when we were younger, (hairbrush throwing, brother kicking the bottom panel out of my bedroom door, that same door being thrown open hard enough to leave a doorknob-sized hole in my wall. . . ) I'm so grateful for my siblings. Now that we're all adults, we have such great relationships. We don't get to see each other very often and we probably don't talk as often as we should, but when we get together, we truly enjoy each other. Of course, it might be because we live hours apart. . . We probably prove the adage: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. ha!

The older the girls get, the more I love seeing them interact. They carry on entire conversations in the backseat that I'm not even part of (and I'm sure as teenagers, there will be MANY more of these.) They build Lego houses, forts, and zoos. They draw, paint, and cut (thankfully just paper--no one is missing any hair. Yet.)

Of course, it's not perfect harmony 24/7. Sassy likes to play in her room--alone. With the door shut and a broken-hearted little sister on the other side. Stinkus likes to color, tear, knock down, erase, paint, eat, etc anything that's special to Big Sis. She's also been known to scratch, pinch, bite and hair-pull when she's all fired up. Sassy is sometimes not as gracious to share but thinks all of Stinkus's toys are fair game. Somedays there are total meltdowns because the other sister got the pink plate at dinner or I was supposed to get the other one out of the bath first. It's enough to make ME want to put a hole through a wall.

The other night, I was getting dinner going and I noticed it was REALLY quiet. Which is usually a bad sign. It means that Sassy is playing in her room and Stinkus is doing something that she shouldn't be. I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only were they playing together, they were working on building a miniature golf course in the front room.

I love that they were looking at normal, everyday toys and determining how they could be used.

I love how creative they are--and that they don't rely on TV or us to entertain them (I see a lot of kids at school who expect this every day.)

I love that Sassy was showing Stinkus how to hit the ball.

I love that when it was Stinkus's turn she would say, "Ok, focus, focus. . . " And then still not hit it the right way.

I love that they were playing together and that no one was throwing a hairbrush.

Afternoons aren't always like this, but these sweet moments remind me that we've given the girls the best gift ever for the future: each other.

Growing Up

Before I had kids, I knew it all. In all of my worldly experiences of observing other moms, I knew exactly what I would do (differently AND better of course) when it was my turn. Wow, is motherhood a crash course in humility. I've discovered that it's not nearly as easy as it looks and too often, there is no "right" way. And I soon learned the #1 rule: Don't ever judge another mother. Today, though, I have to say I'm breaking the rule.

I've just about had it with some parents on Facebook mourning the fact that their children are going to college. I've read that they're sick to their stomachs, the "sad" day they've dreaded is finally here, they can't bear to lose their babies. I don't get it. To be fair, I can't possibly relate to what they're going through. My kids are three and six and it's a "long" twelve years before we take Sassy to school (somehow we're a third of the way there. . . ) But on the flip side, I've never been one to mourn my girls growing up. When I was 14, I lost a brother at the age of 9 months (yes, my parents have done the unthinkable twice.) For the first year of Sassy's life, I was a nervous wreck. I can remember reaching her first birthday which isn't a guarantee at all, but it felt like I could breathe. Like she was "ok." We made it. A few years ago, I had to watch my brother and his wife bury their daughter at almost a month old. I get SO angry at people who mourn their children growing up when I know my family would give anything to see M and N do just that. Don't we want our kids to go to school, start driving, go to prom, leave for college? I don't understand why parents get so sad to see their kids become the people we want them to be.

My good friend K recently sent me this book because she said it made her think of me. I was SO touched. I LOVE it. The author talks about all of the things she would do if she could keep her child little, but then realizes all of the wonderful things she would miss if they didn't grow up. The last page says it all: "If I could keep you little, I'd keep you close to me. But then I'd miss you growing into who you're meant to be!"

I'm sure it is hard to face the next chapter of life when you've spent the last eighteen years together. And in twelve years I may be eating these words as I have a breakdown on the ride home (please let me wait until the ride home. . .) But I hope and pray that I maintain the same attitude I've had so far.

Last weekend, R and I had the honor of being my new niece's godparents. It was such a beautiful ceremony. The priest reminded us that with baptism, our children aren't ours--but God's. He then asked how many of us celebrate our baptismal dates. Crickets chirping. . . I had never thought about the significance of my baptismal date. He pointed out that it's more important than our day of birth because it's our day of RE-birth. I love the idea of celebrating this day--as E's godmother, I want to do something for her every year on August 18. It's the perfect day to acknowledge her without taking away from something her parents might want to do for her birthday or Christmas. Monsignor also chuckled when the holy water was poured over E's head and she let out a piercing cry--he shared that his grandmother used to say that was the devil coming out. And I kid you not, my lovely husband leaned over and whispered, "Did Stinkus cry?" HA! I love that guy.

It was such a beautiful day to remember that these little miracles are God's--we're just here to raise them, guide them, and show them His way. And when they turn eighteen, to let them GO. And rejoice that He gave us eighteen years with them. I hope that in twelve years, I'm posting on Facebook that it's time to celebrate. Time to celebrate my beautiful daughter leaving home to pursue her dreams and future. Time to celebrate that again while it's no guarantee, she made it. And time to celebrate that in just three more years, the house will be ours. ALL ours. :)

Our Summer-y Summary: Part 2

The last week of July we met up with Ryan's best friend from high school and his family who were nearby on vacation (love living near a trip destination!)  We had dinner and watched the light/fountain show and then let the kids go swimming at their condo.  It was great to see them.  Since meeting R, I have several special memories of B and H.  I remember holding their firstborn in 2000 and B was giving R a hard time about when he was going to bite the bullet.  Little did we know he was planning to propose the very next month!  :)  H was also one of the "lucky" ladies at our wedding who got smacked on the backside by my brother.  "Mrs. S, you are one hottie-patottie!"  HA! I can still hear him say that.  It was nice to catch up--I'm just sad that it doesn't happen more often.

That next weekend we headed to our home state for a family reunion.  My grandmother was one of eight and every two years, we join my mom's aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins' kids for a weekend.  It's fun to see everyone but it's strange how much the family has changed.  The only ones left from my grandma's generation are her brother and sister, who are 94 and 96 (Grandma was in her 90s when she passed away--hope I get those genes!) And there are so many little ones!  One day, my siblings and I decided to take our families to the local water park.  It was a killer deal.  Our family of four got in for $18.  Total.  The girls had a blast and I'm sure there were some park goers who will never be the same after seeing some of us adults conquer the water slides.  I really didn't wear a thong although it may have appeared that way after going down. . .   ha!

We also had a joint birthday party since five of the seven grandkids have summer birthdays. It was a fun weekend. The reunion has become so much more to me since becoming a parent. I can remember having SUCH a hard time when I was younger trying to figure out who everyone was. It was hard to keep Mom's cousins straight and remember which cousins were from which aunt and uncle. Now it's tough for MY kids to wrap their heads around who MY cousins, aunts and uncles are. It's made it even more important to remember my grandma's generation when I realize that in a few more, it's MINE that may be forgotten.

The next weekend, we met up with another of R's high school friends and his family for a little vacation.  R has known A since they were born and it's been great to keep in touch with their brood.  Four kiddos 6 and under!  We met up in the city where R and I lived when we were first married, which felt a little weird. We're now tourists though!  :)  We stayed at a hotel with a mini-water park inside (one more water slide that altered the look of my suit. . . and NOT for the better!) and then took the kids to a major league baseball game and a new aquarium in town.  Sassy was totally into all the little "challenge questions" in the aquarium.  Reading has opened a whole new world to her!  It was fun to see the Ws--and our kids hit it off which is always fun to see.  Again, I wish we could see them more often!            

The girls also squeezed in about a week with each set of grandparents and they had a blast. We're blessed to have these four special people in our lives! I'm so grateful for the memories they're making together.

Needless to say, we had a busy summer. I was almost ready for school to start because it seemed like we needed a vacation from our vacation! Although now that I'm getting up every morning at 5:30, supervising homework, and trying to find time at night for everything that I used to spend all day doing, I'm missing my lounge chair at the lake. Lucky for me, another summer will be here before I know it!

We're OK

In 2008, my family lost my brother.  He was 28.  I know that it sounds cliche, but his death has left a huge void in our family.  I remember getting together for holidays after his death and scanning the room to do a mental head count:  1, 2, 3, 4, etc.  I was always shocked when everyone was there. Except for Matt.  It felt like half of us were missing.  It was just too quiet, too calm.

I know that we all take things for granted.  There's a reason for the saying: "Hindsight's 20/20."  We see things clearer as time goes by, and it's only in retrospect that we realize what we once had.  One of my biggest regrets in life is not being the sister I should have been to Matt.  I was the proverbial oldest sister.  The "mother hen" constantly nagging him to be appropriate and then being absolutely mortified when inevitably, he wasn't.  I wish I could go back and enjoy the moments he gave us.  Like high school graduation.  It wasn't enough for Matt to cross the stage and receive his diploma.  He had to pick the principal up (Matt was a BIG guy) and bounce him in a huge bear hug.  He celebrated my wedding by making the rounds at my reception and slapping all my friends on the rear.  For our other brother's college graduation, he sported the tiniest pair of Daisy Dukes EVER (Did I mention he was a big guy?) and a cowboy hat made out of Coor Light boxes.  He was truly the life of the party. 

In 2009, thirty years after Matt was born, my family gained Stinkus.  I've often said that it's like having a little piece of Matt here.  She's impulsive, funny, ornery, and uninhibited.  She loves to be the class clown, the center of attention, the life of the party.  Matt's favorite joke when he was little:  "What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?"  I can't even tell you how many times I heard that joke.  Stinkus likes to tell one about a mailman hitting a cat.  Ask her.  She'll tell you.  :)  She's assumed her role as the one who makes us laugh and if anyone is upset, she sticks her little fingers in the corners of her mouth and sticks out her tongue to make her "silly face."  She doesn't understand if it doesn't work--"But I make you happy!"  I hate that she's already holding herself responsible for our happiness but I have to say that 99% of the time, she's successful.  :) 

This summer we've noticed a few new "Stinkus-isms."  One:  "I not gonna care."  Usually accompanied by a slight shrug of the shoulders.

"Stinkus, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
Shrug.  "I not gonna care."
"Stinkus, you have ketchup all over your face."
Shrug.  "I not gonna care."
"Stinkus, look up.  You still have shampoo in your hair."
Shrug.  "I not gonna care." 

You get the picture.  I'm both infuriated at her easy-come-easy-go attitude and jealous that I can't be more like her.  And once again, I see a little bit of my brother who was taken way too soon.

This past weekend, we traveled to a family reunion where tensions can sometimes run high and tempers can flare.  We were late.  In my mind I wanted to be at our day's destination hours before.  So I'm rushing around, growling and irritated, headed out the door with Stinkus on my hip.  And I hear her other recent Stinkus-ism: "It gonna be o-tay, Mom."  And I literally stopped in my tracks.  She's been saying this for a while now.  And there's nothing funnier than hearing a three year old remind me in the car:  "Take a deep bweff, Mom.  Just take a deep bweff.  It gonna be ooooo-tay."  But this particular day. . . maybe because I was with family, maybe because I again noticed the void in our bunch. . . . At that moment, I realized it was something Matt said all the time:  "It'll be O.K."  My dad even wanted it on his tombstone-- almost as if Matt is reassuring us from heaven.  I immediately teared up and marveled at how much this little person is like him.  I know that she'll never replace Matt--there's only one person who can pull off the Daisy Duke look--but it sure is nice having a little bit of his spirit here.  Maybe God is giving me another chance to cherish all those things that I used to chastise.  Maybe He realized that I needed someone in my life to tell me to take deep bweffs.  Maybe He's showing me that it's no big deal if you sport a little ketchup and extra shampoo.  It'll be O.K.                   

Our Summer-y Summary: Part 1

Ironically the summer that I was dreading the most ended up being one of the best yet. Somehow we've packed a lot into a little time off. Sass was right with her "most rockin' summer ever" description. I think the best part is that we've gotten to catch up with a LOT of friends and family. So much in fact, I told R that I'm nervous that something is going to happen to us--yes, this is really how my mind works sometimes. So if that's the case, I'm glad I got to see you!

The other great part about our summer is that SO much of it revolved around water. Isn't that what summer is all about?

In May, we camped with Grandma, Pop, Aunt B and Uncle S. The girls loved the beach and had a blast sleeping in the camper. . . Poor Mom and Dad had to be all alone in the tent. . And sleeping in? Ok, if we must. :) We also celebrated the girls' birthdays which worked out great. I don't think we ended up with ANY free weekends for a party!

Sand castles with Aunt B

Birthday cupcakes

June brought our camping "adventure" where the tent, as Stinkus puts it, melted. And Daddy went on a guys' weekend float trip but I don't seem to have any photos to share. Probably a good thing. :)

July got a little crazy. We went to my husband's hometown for Great Grandma's funeral and got to spend the 4th with family. The girls loved it. . . until one of the fireworks fell over and shot down the sidewalk where we were sitting. Twice. :) Hey, we were just trying to impress those cousins from Texas.

Snappers

We had five girlies 6 and under!

More water fun!

Then it was time to meet up with the "M Aunties" for the girls' first float trip. It was such a great time. And as we said more than once, we ate WELL. I'll have to remember some recipes the next time we camp! Like walking tacos!

With Auntie Mo and Auntie My in the "riffer!"

Auntie Monie and J aren't doing too much paddling. . . 

Dad's idea worked great!

We also did a day trip to a local state park and met up with some good friends who live a few hours away. It's the perfect halfway point. The kids can run around and climb on the playground or build castles out of dirt (yes, they tried. My girls really should have been boys some days. . . ) or play in the river. We're planning to do it again this fall so I'm excited to see them again!

Playing with W

Love this pic--one sister is shocked to be splashed and the other
(GUILTY) sister is enjoying it way too much! 

A few days later one of my best friends from college came to visit. It was so good to see her and her two boys. The girls were SO nervous because all they had were "girl" toys but after a short introduction to Barbies AND Polly Pocket, all their fears subsided.  I know C and J's daddy would be so proud. I love this pic of C! I think he was a bit embarrassed to be caught!

We took the kids to the nearby lake and spent the day. They had a blast. They built an "oasis" in the sand and swam, and it was SO good to catch up with S! We vowed not to let YEARS go by again!

Then we were off the next weekend to the lake to see my aunt, uncle, cousin and her family.  She has three boys and Sassy remarked:  "Not more boys!"  Let's hope she keeps that attitude for the next twenty years.  :)

J took the girls out on the Sea-Doo and they LOVED it.  Stinkus may or may not have thrown a few fits any time someone else was riding. . . 

It has been a few years since we've been to the lakehouse ("waterhouse" according to Stinkus) so it was really fun to see everyone.  And SO much easier than when Stinkus was a baby.  I need to remember this the next time I'm sad that I don't have a baby anymore.  Summers like this wouldn't be possible!

While I'd like to say we took it easy the last week of July, there's more summer to post.  Which will have to wait until another day.  The other great part of summer is getting plenty of couch time.  Which didn't happen. Until now.  :)

Lemonade Day

The last two times we've gone camping, it's rained overnight. I'm choosing to believe that this last time we stayed dry not because we were in the "better" (albeit smaller) Cabela's tent, but because it was a gentler, steadier, less tsunami-ish rain. At least that's what I'm believing. :) Sassy was pretty upset at the prospect of another storm last weekend so my sister told her that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. (Of course, Hubby says he prefers Ron White's version of using your lemons to find someone whom life gave tequila. . .) It's a lesson that I struggle with, but as I've said before, it's something I want the girls to understand. "Lucky" for me, we got our chance yesterday.

Maybe we had it coming since it was our only Saturday in about eight weeks that we didn't have plans. So what do we do? Make plans. Why not jet down to the local amusement park for a few hours and let the girls ride? So we headed out. And the farther south we drove, the darker and darker it got. By the time we got there, it was maybe 70 degrees and it wasn't IF it would rain, but WHEN. So we headed to an indoor theater at the park for a show, hoping that an hour later, the weather would be better. The good news--it appeared to be holding off. So we rode the tea cups, and got on another ride. We were buckled up, ready to go and Stinkus pulls out the dreaded: "I have to pooooop. . . ." Ugggh. I asked if she could hold it, and she said her tummy hurt. And thankfully, a little voice whispered at me: GO. So I grabbed her and ran. This is where I should state that while I love the park, I've never understood why there are NO restrooms in the kid section. HELLO park engineers! And of course, the elephant ride is at the very END of the section. So I RAN. Not an easy task when you're carrying 35 extra pounds of weight, it's UPHILL, and there's apparently no limit on strollers and scooters. Seriously people, get out of my way! Stinkus said, "Oh no!" as I threw open the first stall and ripped her shorts down. . . right as I realized why my baby's tummy hurt. I'm already blogging about poop so I'm not sparing you the details. It splattered everywhere. Luckily because she's so newly potty trained, I had the good sense to pack an extra pair of shorts and panties. Which were in my backpack. Which was in a cubby at the elephant ride. I started to call R. . . and realized I didn't have my phone either. I had NO clue what to do with her or how to let R know that I needed the backpack. I was this close to wrapping some paper towels around her and heading out. Dear Park Engineers: If you won't build a closer bathroom, it's only fair to install a clothes dispenser. Size 4T please. I finally looked like a crazy woman and asked the moms at the sink if someone had a cell phone I could borrow. And of course, R didn't answer it because he didn't know the number. Luckily he listened to the voicemail, and in a few minutes, Sassy appeared--which scared me too because she's really too little to be sent in by herself, but I was desperate. A few moments later we were out the door, everything all cleaned up and minus a pair of Dora panties and purple shorts.

After just one ride all morning, we headed for home. The girls were disappointed but surprisingly, they were ok. I just couldn't risk it happening again--especially with no extra clothes. R came up with a great new advertising slogan: "Season Passes. . . in case your day is cut short when you poop yourself, you can come back again!" And we laughed SO hard. Then Stinkus got the saddest little look on her face, blinked her big eyelashes and said: "Sassy, I sorry you not get to wide your whoa-wer coaster," which made me cry. (God forbid when my children ever have real hurts--I hate to see them hurt!) But it was ok. We were making lemonade. I wasn't letting it ruin our day.

We stopped at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants on the way home. I got a great fortune: "Your troubles will soon cease and good fortune will smile upon you." It was partially right. My troubles weren't quite over. First, the ice cream machine at the buffet was broken. WHAT?! And apparently, if you run like a maniac through an amusement park carrying something the size of Stinkus, your legs are REALLY sore the next day. But in the true spirit of making lemonade, I needed to tone up a bit, right?

More Firsts and Lasts

I'm finding that life with kiddos means lots of firsts and lasts. This summer has been no exception:

We are still on our last box of diapers! I may have to get some Pull-ups for overnight when these are gone, but she's even doing pretty well with that.

Sassy has now lost her first TWO teeth. And not to steal the spotlight, but I'm pretty darn proud of my role each time. Yours truly who wouldn't dare pull her own teeth (hence the braces later in life. . .) pulled both of Sassy's loose teeth. It was pretty cool. She was SO excited and relieved, AND it helped my "Trust me, it will feel better when it's out" pep talk. I may not be right on much (especially as she gets older), but this time, I was the mom who knew something. I'll take it. :)

Sadly, Stinkus experienced her first funeral (and it was the first one Sassy remembers). We will miss Great Grandma, but we celebrate her 90 years here and the many lives she touched. She lost her husband during the Korean War, never remarried, and raised four kids by herself. It obviously wasn't the best of circumstances, but it was really nice to see so much family, and to see the girls play with R's cousins' kids. The next generation was pretty cute together.

And we're also adding to this generation. . . In June, we got to see cousin B become a big sister for the first time. The girls are in LOVE with Baby E.L. And she's SO pretty! Congrats to my sister and her beautiful family!!!

AND. . . the girls are getting their first cousin on R's side! Congrats to Aunt B and Uncle S! We're so excited to meet "Sonic" in December and know that they'll be wonderful parents.

Sassy had her last day of kindergarten which was surprisingly harder on me than the first. Watching her get on the bus for the last time as a kindergartner really choked me up. I think it's because everyone tells you how fast it goes--and how much faster it goes the older they get. Well, this year FLEW. And I got really upset wondering how on earth it could go any faster. Years from now, when she's pulling away in her own car, this is how I will see the first year of school--little legs and a Hello Kitty backpack. And darn it, I'm getting all teary again!

And we experienced summer school for the first time. She loved it, I made easy money, but I'm seriously bummed that my summer is just four weeks long. Sassy made me feel a little better one day when she said this was the "the most rockin' summer EVER!" I was like, Really? :( And then she went on to say that each weekend felt like a little summer. Oh happy heart. :) I'm reminding myself that it's quality vs. quantity, and that there are few parents who get a month off every summer let alone three. So we're making every minute--and memory--count. :)

One of the memories we made was the girls' first big float trip. We've taken them out in the kayaks and canoe quite a bit, but never for a 7 hour float. Three of my sisters and a boyfriend made the trek down and we hit the river. We had a blast and the girls were rock stars. They're at the age where life is just EASY. No diapers or feedings to mess with, they can hold certain bodily functions until we get to an outfitter on the river, they can shade themselves with umbrellas. It was great. I love that our girls love to camp and be on the water. I see a lot of this in our future summers!

It honestly has been a rockin' summer. I'm trying to forget that I'm back at work in three weeks. Instead, I'm wondering what firsts and lasts these next three weeks will bring--and remembering to cherish every moment.